A Little 'Huzzah!' Never Hurt Anyone

I have never been much for physical activity. All my hobbies - reading, writing, painting - are quite sedentary, and fair skin and a bad case of allergies have often kept me indoors. However, I have recently begun to appreciate what good physical activity can do for my overall well-being. Not only has my body looked better, but I have also been in a better emotional and mental state - a wild woman must do something with all that energy after all.

Today's work out adventure took me to a local park. I'm currently living in a town I know very little about, and discovery a park with running trails was exciting. I enjoy running, although I am terrible at it - if confused, read paragraph one. I enjoy the challenge it brings, the experience it presents to me: running through the trees, hearing my feet hit the gravel, listening for the occasional bird song I might catch over my own heavy breathing.

Midway through today's run, I was met by a fellow runner. She, unlike myself, was clearly a pro. Petite, long-legged, and blonde, I couldn't help but admire her graceful and seemingly effortless gait and beautiful composure. She had hardly broken a sweat and we were both about a mile in. She made running look sexy, and just before my awe could turn to envy, she passed me and with a bright smile and a loud "good job!"

I couldn't help but smile. What a good thing to do, I thought. Just when I was about to let my jog turn into a power walk, just when I was about to let my huffing get to me, just when I was about to give up, a fellow woman gave me the encouragement to go on. Now what if each of us took the time to do that? What if everytime you saw an exasperated mom at the grocery store, you took the time to tell her how beautiful she looked today, or saw a woman looking a little down on the subway, you sat down and asked her how her day was going?

What if we actually supported each other instead of focused all of our energy into tearing each other down over clothing, make-up, or other menial things. I think then women would truly be a force to be reckoned with.

This might sound a little preachy or too kumbaya, but at the same time it's completely harmless. The encouragement I received today gave me the boost I needed, and I will definitely pass it on. So consider doing the same.

Adorn Yourselves!

I could give another lame excuse for not writing in months, but I am not going to this time. I am simply going to own it. I am a terribly inconsistent blog writer, as I am at just about any other creative endeavor I pursue - even if it is my very life blood.

However, in my time away, I did learn a few wonderful lessons, and one in particular, I would like to focus on today: Adorning thyself.

To often, we women run out of the house in whatever is comfortable. We have too many things on our To Do list to actually consider ourselves, so we throw on a pair of sweats or a comfy pair of jeans and an old, worn out top and head out to accomplish whatever we put in front of ourselves that day. Only when an important meeting or social event calls do we actually dress ourselves up. Only then do we dress up - and note - it is always for someone else, never ourselves.

A month or two ago, after two solid months of sulking around in sweat pants and Hanes men's cotton v-neck tees, I decided that I deserved to dress myself up. There was no one else around me. No one I needed to please with my dress or hair style. No one who would constantly ridicule me with "Are you really going to wear that in public" or "You're so weird." I just got to dress for me.

The pledge to myself created a self-absorbed monster for a bit, but it was just what I needed. I took myself, my authentic self, shopping. She rejected yet another pair of jeans or another bad t-shirt with a kitchy saying on it. She wanted dresses and heels, and eventually demanded a new hair cut. She further went on to enjoy a full, blown photo shoot of just herself on one beautiful spring day.

The new me, and the most expensive thing on me is the haircut. The necklace a $3.00 steal at GoodWill, the dress - a $20 dress purchased in Mexico (they can be purchased on eBay for the same price) which I tailored to myself, some flashy eye shadow, and a $30 hair cut. The fact that I am pleased with myself enough to snap portraits in a car - priceless.


And when the self-absorbed phase faded out, my authentic self remained. I fell in love with myself again. I continued to dress myself up - and still do to this day - and because of it, I feel better about myself. I walk with greater confidence. I am more articulate. I even turn heads and command a greater respect - both of which I am not necessarily used to. I even had a friend tell me I looked the best she had ever seen me, and that she couldn't believe how much weight I'd lost - when in reality, I had gained 10 pounds since the last time she saw me. All of this because I chose to dress myself up for me.

I have never been one for clothing, jewelry, and shoes. Generally, this is not where I choose to invest my hard earned money. However, with a $150, some sewing skills, and a few leisurely shopping trips, I was able to express the inner me through clothing. I was able to adorn myself with beautiful things, and, after experiencing the joy and pleasure it has brought me, I believe that I deserve to do so.

Now, I'm not saying that you should never wear sweats again. I'm simply saying that for one month, you should dress for just you. Dress yourself up, and treat each day like you are taking yourself out. There is nothing wrong with doing so. What is wrong is not being able to remember the last time you took pleasure in dressing up just for you - dressing up without wondering if your hair looks just right, if the other ladies will think your dress looks cheap or is of last season's fashion.

We all have wonderful personalities and beautiful bodies, and we deserve to compliment them by dressing them up to be uniquely us as we desire to be. So adorn yourself with something beautiful everyday, and do it without thinking of those around you. You deserve to feel beautiful, confident, and sexy - even on casual Fridays, even during soccer practice, and even while having a night in with only yourself, a movie, and a package of Milano cookies.

Body-n-Soul by Asha Bandele

A friend of mine sent me this poem by Asha Bandele, and I really appreciated the candidness of the prose. I hope you are all able to connect and find a sense of empowerment through the common experience Asha shares.

Body-n-Soul
by Asha Bandele

I didn’t mean for my towel to drop or to be standing nude in front of the
full length mirror the other morning…but there we were, trapped,
the three of us: me, the mirror, and my naked body.

I’ve avoided being nude in front of myself for years…I have hated my
body for nearly as long as I’ve had one
I’ve been a million different sizes in my life, but never quite the right size…
my skin was never quite the right shade….
always too light or too dark depending upon
who I was with.

it’s not as though I don’t know better…
I’m embarrassed to know as many theories as I do
and still be in struggle.

I know that the American aesthetic is perverse, anti-woman
and bounded by a solely western sense of beauty…I know
that even Americans did not demand this image of prepubescent fragility
in women until well into this century…I know the
wideness of my hips makes biological sense…
and I know a million other feminist theories and truths….
I have books filled with highlighted paragraphs to prove that I have studied
and
understand these self-affirming things…but knowing that doesn’t change
the way I’ve felt for at least the last 15 years.

I am ashamed to say that I hate my body
but it has been my enemy for so long now
& I know somewhere that the real enemy has been the various reactions
that my body has created in other people who have their own
issues biases agendas and afflictions
but it’s easier to attack my 5’6″, lightskinned, 142 pound frame…
I have no power over the men who pay me/my body attention
I never wanted
or dispelled affections I desperately needed
depending upon my state of fatness or thinness…

but this body is mine, I can
stairmaster,
diet, jog, powerwalk and starve into submission.

I don’t want to live this way.

I want to see the value of my body in the creative framework of what it
does despite its conformity or non-conformity to the western tradition
I want to value the body i have which has always been able to hold and
to love
to dance, walk, write poems, clean houses, massage my sister, rise every
morning and
try try try
to contribute to another life.
which like mine,
is struggling for something we hesitantly call
peace.

Why Boudoir is for Every Woman

Boudoir photos have traditionally been reserved for blushing brides - those wanting to surprise their husbands with provocative photos of themselves on their wedding night or honeymoon. However, it is my firm belief that every woman have these empowering photos taken of themselves whether they have a partner or not.

Not only will women gain a greater since of confidence during their boudoir photo shoot, but they will also be able to appreciate and relish in their bodies when viewing the finished product. I even carry a copy of one of my photos in my wallet for an extra pick me up if I'm having a low self-esteem day.

The photos are always fun and sexy, and if done by a knowledgeable photographer, tastefully capture your feminine essence. You don't even have to wear skimpy lingerie or go topless either to have great photos. The goal is to look as comfortable and confident as possible - even if that means you posing in an oversized t-shirt - revealing the true nature of your personality which creates your own unique brand of sexy empowerment that will satisfy the sensual goddess within.

Boudoir photos aren't just for those with "perfect" bodies either. Women with a few extra pounds on them take exceptionally beautiful photos as they have the curvature to perfectly compliment any choice of lingerie.

So if you are wanting a fun reason to play dress up or just want a day to indulge in yourself, consider Boudoir. They are a great way for a woman to reclaim her body, and to truly appreciate it from an artistic stand point.

Seeing Beauty in All: Over-40 Nudes

Washington D.C resident and photographer, Keith Seat, began “Seeing Beauty in All: Over-40 Nudes” in the summer of 2010. The project is a beautiful compilation of black-and-white photos of nude individuals all over the age of 40.

“My Over-40 Nudes project seeks to expand conventional concepts of physical beauty beyond people with bodies that are youthful and conventionally near perfect,” states Seats. “I believe we can enhance that definition by seeing older bodies – complete with imperfections and evidence of aging – as beautiful because they have been lived in and have experienced life with all its joys and sorrows. My goal is to help us reclaim our bodies – to see ourselves in our fullness, to expand our view of beauty to the reality around us, and to appreciate the glory of bodies that have fully lived.”

Seat’s Over-40 photographs openly celebrate diversity. The models photographed for the project are not professional, but instead residents of the Washington D.C. area over the age of 40, and vary age, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and size.

During the photography sessions, the models are often encouraged to discuss the ways they feel about their own bodies – the insecurities and the features they like. Many find the sessions coupled with the discussion to be very therapeutic. Seat even confirmed that “many participants to feel more self-acceptance and satisfaction with their bodies, and sometimes even a deep sense of healing.”

Seat doesn’t use much photoshopping when editing his photos as he is determined to “celebrate the beauty that is actually present.”

Seeing Beauty in All: Over-40 Nudes continues to collect more photos for the exhibition which Seat hopes to publish in book form in the future.

For more information about the exhibit, check out Seat’s website www.silverlightart.com or visit his facebook page

10 Feel Good Body Image Quotes

On occasion a good quote is just what you need. They serve as an excellent reminder if you’re having a bad day or just wanting an extra ego boost. Below are a few great quotes regarding body image. If you see one you like, feel free to scribble it down on your nearest post-it note and hang it up somewhere that will catch your eye the next time you need a boost.

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion” – Francis Bacon

“It’s such a profound alienation for a person not to be at home in their own body” – Marilyn Wann

“Each individual woman’s body demands to be accepted on its own terms” – Gloria Steinem

“Where bodies are concerned, there is no norm. Because we are all different which is what makes us real. And celebrating that difference is what positive body image is about.” – Dr Samantha Thomas

“Each body has its art” – Gwendolyn Brooks

“I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament” – Alanis Morissette

“Instead of spending life’s precious energy asking ‘is my butt too big?’ spend it asking ‘is my life too small?’” – Kathrine Brown

“The woman who wins calls herself beautiful and challenges the world to change to truly see her.” – Naomi Wolf

“Find yourself and your own unique, signature style, rather than trying to be ‘of the moment.’” – Dita Von Teese

“I am beautiful as I am. I am the shape that I was gifted. My breasts are no longer perky or upright like when I was a teenager. My hips are wider than that of a fashion model’s. For this I am glad, for these are the signs of a life lived.” – Cindy Olsen

A New Season of Empowerment

When I first started this blog, I had decided not to incorporate my own personal stories. For one reason or another, I believed they would not be pertinent. However, as a recent divorce has left me with a greater life perspective, I am now rejecting this initial decision.

A woman's experience should always be shared, as it is through this relation to the sisterhood that we all find greater insight and awareness.

I haven't been blogging regularly since November due to the deterioration of my marriage. It was emotionally consuming, and I found it hard to deal with anything outside the relationship. As saddening as this sounds, amongst the emotional rubble, a sense of empowerment has slowly and unexpectedly been creeping up on me.

In the beginning, I was a mess - completely confused and lost. I cried, sent desperate emails, and tried to seek answers that would never be found. I began ruminating. Every thought revolved around the demise of my marriage, and I quickly realized that I had to find a better outlet or would soon face the demise of my sanity as well.

So I turned to something that I have always held very dear: my art. I began creating once again - something I had put on the back burner for most of the time spent in the relationship. In almost an instant, an explosion of creativity was upon me. I began elaborately sewing, keeping a mandala journal , and even better - painting.

Everything was in technicolor once again, and my own life path came into focus. Ahhh, the power of art. The magnificent process of creation that cleverly knows the best path to healing.

I have taught fine art and creative writing courses over the past three years, and love it dearly. However, through my own recent art, I began to realize that it wasn't the teaching that I adored, but moreso the process and emotions involved in the creation process.

I loved helping people achieve painting styles that reflected their own personalities, and loved helping people realize how their own stories were all woven together to bring about a greater sense of self. It was in this realization that I found my true calling: art therapy.

I have found passion engulfing me for the first time in years. I haven't stopped reading about art therapy - the advances, the history, the techniques - you name it and it's either on my book shelf, blog roll, or awaiting my credit card's attention in my Amazon cart. I've even started to use techniques I would have never considered to complete my own healing, and have enrolled in multiple psychology courses to get my self on track for my Master's in Art Therapy.

So if there is one thing to learn, it is that even in spite of tragedy, a beautiful rebirth is waiting. Although the path can be full of tears, painful heart ache, and moving boxes and packing tape, in the end, you can walk away with a greater sense of self - even if it is a little splattered with paint - that is now set to inspire and better your little corner of the world.