Body-n-Soul by Asha Bandele

A friend of mine sent me this poem by Asha Bandele, and I really appreciated the candidness of the prose. I hope you are all able to connect and find a sense of empowerment through the common experience Asha shares.

Body-n-Soul
by Asha Bandele

I didn’t mean for my towel to drop or to be standing nude in front of the
full length mirror the other morning…but there we were, trapped,
the three of us: me, the mirror, and my naked body.

I’ve avoided being nude in front of myself for years…I have hated my
body for nearly as long as I’ve had one
I’ve been a million different sizes in my life, but never quite the right size…
my skin was never quite the right shade….
always too light or too dark depending upon
who I was with.

it’s not as though I don’t know better…
I’m embarrassed to know as many theories as I do
and still be in struggle.

I know that the American aesthetic is perverse, anti-woman
and bounded by a solely western sense of beauty…I know
that even Americans did not demand this image of prepubescent fragility
in women until well into this century…I know the
wideness of my hips makes biological sense…
and I know a million other feminist theories and truths….
I have books filled with highlighted paragraphs to prove that I have studied
and
understand these self-affirming things…but knowing that doesn’t change
the way I’ve felt for at least the last 15 years.

I am ashamed to say that I hate my body
but it has been my enemy for so long now
& I know somewhere that the real enemy has been the various reactions
that my body has created in other people who have their own
issues biases agendas and afflictions
but it’s easier to attack my 5’6″, lightskinned, 142 pound frame…
I have no power over the men who pay me/my body attention
I never wanted
or dispelled affections I desperately needed
depending upon my state of fatness or thinness…

but this body is mine, I can
stairmaster,
diet, jog, powerwalk and starve into submission.

I don’t want to live this way.

I want to see the value of my body in the creative framework of what it
does despite its conformity or non-conformity to the western tradition
I want to value the body i have which has always been able to hold and
to love
to dance, walk, write poems, clean houses, massage my sister, rise every
morning and
try try try
to contribute to another life.
which like mine,
is struggling for something we hesitantly call
peace.

Why Boudoir is for Every Woman

Boudoir photos have traditionally been reserved for blushing brides - those wanting to surprise their husbands with provocative photos of themselves on their wedding night or honeymoon. However, it is my firm belief that every woman have these empowering photos taken of themselves whether they have a partner or not.

Not only will women gain a greater since of confidence during their boudoir photo shoot, but they will also be able to appreciate and relish in their bodies when viewing the finished product. I even carry a copy of one of my photos in my wallet for an extra pick me up if I'm having a low self-esteem day.

The photos are always fun and sexy, and if done by a knowledgeable photographer, tastefully capture your feminine essence. You don't even have to wear skimpy lingerie or go topless either to have great photos. The goal is to look as comfortable and confident as possible - even if that means you posing in an oversized t-shirt - revealing the true nature of your personality which creates your own unique brand of sexy empowerment that will satisfy the sensual goddess within.

Boudoir photos aren't just for those with "perfect" bodies either. Women with a few extra pounds on them take exceptionally beautiful photos as they have the curvature to perfectly compliment any choice of lingerie.

So if you are wanting a fun reason to play dress up or just want a day to indulge in yourself, consider Boudoir. They are a great way for a woman to reclaim her body, and to truly appreciate it from an artistic stand point.

Seeing Beauty in All: Over-40 Nudes

Washington D.C resident and photographer, Keith Seat, began “Seeing Beauty in All: Over-40 Nudes” in the summer of 2010. The project is a beautiful compilation of black-and-white photos of nude individuals all over the age of 40.

“My Over-40 Nudes project seeks to expand conventional concepts of physical beauty beyond people with bodies that are youthful and conventionally near perfect,” states Seats. “I believe we can enhance that definition by seeing older bodies – complete with imperfections and evidence of aging – as beautiful because they have been lived in and have experienced life with all its joys and sorrows. My goal is to help us reclaim our bodies – to see ourselves in our fullness, to expand our view of beauty to the reality around us, and to appreciate the glory of bodies that have fully lived.”

Seat’s Over-40 photographs openly celebrate diversity. The models photographed for the project are not professional, but instead residents of the Washington D.C. area over the age of 40, and vary age, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and size.

During the photography sessions, the models are often encouraged to discuss the ways they feel about their own bodies – the insecurities and the features they like. Many find the sessions coupled with the discussion to be very therapeutic. Seat even confirmed that “many participants to feel more self-acceptance and satisfaction with their bodies, and sometimes even a deep sense of healing.”

Seat doesn’t use much photoshopping when editing his photos as he is determined to “celebrate the beauty that is actually present.”

Seeing Beauty in All: Over-40 Nudes continues to collect more photos for the exhibition which Seat hopes to publish in book form in the future.

For more information about the exhibit, check out Seat’s website www.silverlightart.com or visit his facebook page

10 Feel Good Body Image Quotes

On occasion a good quote is just what you need. They serve as an excellent reminder if you’re having a bad day or just wanting an extra ego boost. Below are a few great quotes regarding body image. If you see one you like, feel free to scribble it down on your nearest post-it note and hang it up somewhere that will catch your eye the next time you need a boost.

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion” – Francis Bacon

“It’s such a profound alienation for a person not to be at home in their own body” – Marilyn Wann

“Each individual woman’s body demands to be accepted on its own terms” – Gloria Steinem

“Where bodies are concerned, there is no norm. Because we are all different which is what makes us real. And celebrating that difference is what positive body image is about.” – Dr Samantha Thomas

“Each body has its art” – Gwendolyn Brooks

“I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament” – Alanis Morissette

“Instead of spending life’s precious energy asking ‘is my butt too big?’ spend it asking ‘is my life too small?’” – Kathrine Brown

“The woman who wins calls herself beautiful and challenges the world to change to truly see her.” – Naomi Wolf

“Find yourself and your own unique, signature style, rather than trying to be ‘of the moment.’” – Dita Von Teese

“I am beautiful as I am. I am the shape that I was gifted. My breasts are no longer perky or upright like when I was a teenager. My hips are wider than that of a fashion model’s. For this I am glad, for these are the signs of a life lived.” – Cindy Olsen